ink beyond my fingers

Pouring all my heart with bitter sweet words onto an ink stained page, although I know, all my feelings may never be converted into simple words. Even though millions never ought to express themselves through letters, I nourish myself upon the ink beyond my fingers. But when all the complexity of my emotions is finally gone, I’m being left with the simple question: Is it really ink or is it rather my blood pouring down on the pages of my life?



I AM GOING INSANE. I am done, I’m totally depleted and drained. My head feels like it were exploding and those voices are just killing me. Everything’s freaking loud and sententious. I want to rip myself apart just to silence everything and apart from that I’ve thrown up almost ten times just during the last hour just because I want to numb myself. I haven’t even eaten, I just don’t want to feel anything any more. My throat is sore, my stomach is convulsing, my head is throbbing and my whole body is shaking like hell. I feel like I’m really losing it right now